This is Reggie Reform. He’s from Lincolnshire. He’s from the year 2030, but a year earlier, in the general election, he voted for Reform UK because he wanted Britain to be Britain again. But he made one big mistake: he voted for a gaslighting politician.
Now “God Save the King” plays before Greggs opens, and he thinks:
“This country went downhill the moment they started charging 30p for sauce.”
He remembers “the good old days” despite only being 34. Calls every problem in the country “an absolute disgrace.” He’s written 147 Facebook comments beginning with: “I’m not racist but…”
He keeps a framed picture of a full English breakfast beside his bed. He once called the police because his neighbour installed a heat pump. His blood pressure rises every time he sees a vegan sausage roll.
Reggie Reform thought he was saving Britain.
Instead, Britain became Reggie Reform.

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